Friday, March 30, 2012

My First "Official" Play

   Today I acted in my very first official play.
   Actually, I don't know that I can call it "official". It was written by me, a bunch of fourth graders, and an eighth grade boy. So you can see why I might doubt the validity of its officiality.
   Nevertheless, it was fun. I got to wear a pretty long white princess dress, sparkly shoes, and a plastic tiara. It was nice to play princess again for the first time since I was a little girl.
   The one thing that I am quite proud of was the song that I wrote. I took the "Favorite Things" song (from The Sound of Music) and rewrote lyrics to fit the "bratty princess" stereotype (if there is such a thing). This was the persona portrayed by myself and three adorable fourth grade girls. The song was a huge hit. I loved it.
   Here's the lyrics (don't laugh):

Flying on carpets
and finding my slipper
Kissing a frog prince
and sleeping 'till dinner
Shopping at the mall and spending money
these are a few of my favorite things
Shopping for handbags and riding in limos
Dancing with princes and skipping in meadows
Planning a party and singing a song
these are a few of my favorite things
When it's dark out
when it's cold out
when I'm feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
and then I don't feel so bad

   I was Cinderella.
   There was one other princess........
   He was the eighth grade boy I previously mentioned. His name was Arlo...or Simon...or Hungry...
   He was Belle. Except he wanted to be a "bear princess" (which sounds really weird when you say it out loud), so we came up with the story that "she" kissed the beast and therefore turned into a beast.
   He was a nice guy......funny too.....but still, he was and eighth grade boy. And we all know how they are.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

My Favorite Things

This is a VERY incomplete list of things I am grateful for.

Rainbows, cadbury chocolate eggs, peanut butter, music, my family, my home, Christmas, parties, new clothes, colored pencils, butterflies, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, snow, flowery gardens, chocolate, laughing, singing, talking, daffodials, the world, brand-new notebooks, computers, goldfish (the animal kind), Goldfish (crackers), red roses, minty gum, mirrors, jewelry, bubble baths, Christmas music, Oreos, my friends, shopping, Sharpies, sunshine, Ugg boots, summer, running, flip-flops, comfortable Nike running shoes, blank paper, pastels, duct tape, my bed, pajama pants, good books, writing, cute jackets, worn-in jeans, the ocean, Izze's grapefruit soda, Star Trek Voyager,  the internet, Jesus Christ, birthdays, friendship bracelets, swimming pools, mascara, peace, chocolate cake, The Little Mermaid, love, indoor plumbing, Skittles, Mexican food, the mall, bright colors, pink lemonade, jelly beans, detective shows, joy, muffins, Easter lilies, romantic comedies, traveling, rain, scented candles, smiles, falling in love, hot chocolate, roller coasters, Eggo waffles, painting, debates, cute swimsuits, digital cameras, gel pens, Netflix, Chapstick brand chapstick, barbecue sauce, waterslides, Hershey kisses, fashion, peach blossoms, mangos, fancy dresses, running shorts, white roses, good grades, Jell-o, Mike and Ikes, Milk Duds, mail polish, Matt Damon, Mountain Dew, Spicy food, 3-legged races, fluffy white dandelions, long walks on the beach, Ke$ha, Ferris wheels, deep dish pizza, Food Network, H&M, Sweet potato fries, dancing, New Year's Eve, Disney princesses........

Try saying all that in one breath. :)

50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind: Part 5

21. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?
   I love being happy. If I was worried, I couldn't even enjoy the fact that I was a genius. So I'd be the joyful simpleton.

22. Why are you, you?
   I am different from anyone I've ever known. I don't follow the crowd. I do what I want, wear what I want, and say what I want. I am me because I am me, and that's how I roll.

23. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?
   I think so. That being said, I've had some bad moments, as anyone has. But I try. And some people might think I'm annoying, or stupid, or something else, but I don't care. 'Cause I like myslef just fine.

24. Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?
   Losing touch with a friend who is nearby. When they move away, whether you stay in touch or not, you get over it, but when you see them every day at the mailbox, or the grocery store, or whatever, you think, gosh, I really should do something with her sometime. But you never do, so it just sits there and eats at you every day.

25. What are you most grateful for?
   I don't know that I could pick just one thing, so I'll make a list in MY NEXT POST! (Which will likely be in a few minutes.) :)

Tuesday, March 27, 2012


Alright.....whaddya think? These are some of my favorite poems I've written over the last year.

I remember
the first time you held me in your arms.

I remember the time
when everything spiraled out of control
and together
we cried.

I remember
the look in your eyes
when I told you it was over
and how it changed
when I took you back.

I remember
walking home and holding hands
and how you'd stop
and wrap your arms around my waist
and kiss me
before we parted ways.

I remember the days
when we stood by that tree
and pulled off all the leaves.

I remember
how you'd kiss me
when I was in the middle
of saying something
and there's not a day
when I don't miss it all.

And then
there was
the end.

The end
and I
was standing alone.

Standing alone
and watching you
walking away.

Walking away
and leaving me


I couldn't bring myslef
To believe it, at first

Why? Why did you do it?
All this time, you told me you loved me
Soft, sweet lips on mine

After all this time, I thought we had something
Love, even
Lying isn't something I forgive easily

Acting like you cared, but you didn't

It was all a lie

How am I supposed to choose
when I have everything to lose?

How am I supposed to know
on which path I'm meant to go.

How am I supposed to start
when I have a broken heart?

Where is it that I'm meant to be
and why is no one there for me?

Which road am I supposed to take
and who will meet me when I wake?

But as it is, just time will tell
oh, when is my release from hell?

Monday, March 26, 2012

50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind: Part 4

16. How come the things that make you happy don't make everyone happy?
   Because we re all different people. For instance, I enjoy acting. But some people have terrible stage fright. It also makes me happy when I spend time with my family. But some people have atrocious family lives.
17. What is one thing you have not done that you really want to do? What's holding you back?
   Skydiving. And the thing that's holding me back is that I'm under 18, and my parents won't give me permission. Darn those stupid child protection laws. :)
18. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?
   I think I am still holding on to a couple of past relationships and grudges-I am holding a grudge against a girl who was mean to me in middle school, I am holding on to my last boyfriend, and thinking that we can still be best friends. But that won't work, and I need to move on.
19. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, which one would it be and why?
   I would move back to California. I was born there and lived there until I was eight, and maybe it's just because I was a little kid back then, but I have a lot of beautiful memories from California. It was always sunny, and I had great friends and I was really good at the monkey bars and......ah.
20. Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?
   I have never heard this thing about it making the elevator faster. I only push it once. But I do make a point to jump when that little "bounce" thing happens, right before you get to your floor. I also like to hum when there are other people in the elevator.

Friday, March 23, 2012

Songs That Are Inspiring Me Right Now

"Kiss Me Slowly" by Parachute
So, SSOOO beautiful.

"Somebody I Used to Know" by Gotye
I love this song. It's happened to me, it happens to all of us.

"Starships" by Nikki Minaj
(There's no official music vieo for this one, but you can use the link to listen to the song.) This is such an empowering song. It makes me wanna FLY!

"Smile" by Avril Lavigne
I always wanna dance when I hear this song. It's a perect song to complement the mentality I try to live by. "Always be happy, even when things are looking down. You just have to smile."

"My Immortal" by Evanescance
I love Evanescance. This is the song I'm trying out for the talent show with. My bestie Rachel is playing the piano and I'm singing. :) I hope we get in! Should be fun. :)

Spring Break

   School let out for Spring Break today. I just got back from a babysitting job, so now I have a little extra cash in my pocket. I'm hoping to go see The Hunger Games this next week. And next week I am going to a theater workshop kind of thing (to learn about acting-which is pretty dang fun) with my younger sister. And I get to sleep in and stay up late wacthing Star Trek and White Collar and Phineas and Ferb.
   I hope it stays warm. Up here in the northwest, it rains. A lot. All the time. But lately it's been getting warmer, and I hope it stays that way. Spring Break isn't Spring Break if it's rainy and cold.
   What are your plans for Spring Break, darlings?
   By the way-I've been invited to a writing convention at Portland State in May for high schoolers all over Oregon. In the next few days, I'll be posting some short writing pieces and I need opinions on whcih one I should bring with me to share! Thanks everyone!

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind: Part 3

11. You're having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing that she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?
   This happens to me a lot. And seriously, a lot of times I just pretend I didn't hear it. I know that's not what I should do, but it's hard, sometimes, to stand up for someone, especially when you could lose the respect of those other three people.

12. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?
   Provided they would understand me, I would tell them to never listen to anyone else's opinion of them. Because, seriously, the only person who's opinion of you matters is you.

13. Would you ever break the law to save a loved one?
   Maybe. I wouldn't kill anyone. Ever. I don't think I could if I tried. But if it was like, something like stealing candy from a store or tax fraud or something, probably. It depends on how loved they were. :)

14. Have you ever seen insanity where you later law creativity?
   In myself. :) I used to think I was CRAZY. But I started wrting and drawing and singing and I realized what that craziness was for. There's also my art teacher from a little while back. When I first met her, I though she was an absolute lunatic. But I realized later that she was so creative and absolutely amazing.

15. What's something you know you do differently than most people?
   A lot of things. I dress differently. I dress for me. I'm a lot happier than most people. I think I'm a little more mature than most people my age. I sleep more and use a lot more chapstick. :) I'm not all crazy about women's rights, like most girls are. I mean, I agree that women should have the right to vote and stuff, but I'm not really offended by "sexist" jokes. They're really just stupid. In fact, I'm really not offended by much of anything.

Monday, March 19, 2012


   I have decided to stop letting anything bother me. Ever.
   Why? I am in control of my own happiness. And I have decided to no longer care about what anyone thinks of me. Or about little things, like spilled milk, or getting an 89% on a test I was sure I would get and A on, because in the long run, does it really matter? No. In ten years, am I gonna care about what anyone thought of me my freshman year of high school? No. I am gonna be me, for the rest of forever, and stop listening to people who want me to be someone else. They don't matter. And they'll never like me anyway.
   I am gonna wear what I want, and say what I want, and be who I want. I'm not gonna live up to anyone's expectations except for my own. I won't compete with anyone but myself.
   Some people might say that's selfish. They're wrong. I'm still gonna be nice to other people. It's not like I'm gonna start being mean or anything. But I'm done comparing myself to other people. I'm done being judged. And I'm also done judging other people. I'm gonna be even nicer. I want to be the best person I can be. But not to satisfy anyone else. Just for me.
   I see all these unhappy people every day, and I think, If only! If only you knew that you could control your own happiness! If only you knew!
   So I am going to be happy. For better or for worse, I'm not letting anything bother me anymore.

Saturday, March 17, 2012


   Today I made pie.
   I made two pies: one cherry and one a mixture of blueberry, blackberry, and raspberry. They actually turned out pretty awesome. I would post a picture, but I forgot to take one. And one of the pies is now gone. And the other is half gone.
   This is what happens when 13-year-old boys get a hold of pie. I swear, they just eat and eat and eat and never stop.

Friday, March 16, 2012

Songs That Are Inspiring Me Right Now

"Drive By" by Train
This song is SO sweet. And the music video is adorable! It sorta makes you want to be serenaded. :)

"Stronger" by Kelly Clarkson
This is my theme song right now. It got me through those first two weeks of February. Every time it comes on the radio, I dance around my room like a crazy person. :)

"Piano Man" by Billy Joel
This song is just so catchy. It gets stuck in my head so easily and I LOVE it!

"Fall For You" by Secondhand Serenade
My friend told me to listen to this song back in fifth grade and it's been my favorite song ever since. It is absolutely beautiful.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind: Part 2

6. If happiness was a national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?

Work.....I'm having issues with that term. I would love to write for a living. I would love to act. I'd love to be a lawyer, and a doctor, and a mom, and a psychologist, and an artist. But all of those things sound like so much fun. I don't know that I'd consider it work if I loved it.

7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?

I'm in high school. Do I believe in high school? I don't know. I'm not sure if high school is something you can believe in.
Alright, that was lame. I guess, of the things that I'm really, actively, passionately doing, I believe in them. But I am definitely settling for high school. Because I really have no other options.

8. If the average human lifespan was forty years, how would you live your life differently?

I think I'd take it a little more seriously, but at the same time, I'd try to have more fun. Right now, I've got about sixty to seventy more years of life ahead of me. I always think, I've got lots of time to be serious. I'm gonna be a kid while I can. But I also sit around saying, I have lots of time to have fun. I can waste as much time as I want. Both of those ideas need to be changed, because what if I do die when I'm forty?

9. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?

I think that everything I've ever done has been under my control. I mean, sure, there have been things may parents have restricted me from doing, places they wouldn't let me go. But I could've snuck out. I could've been a bad kid. Ultamitely, it was all my decision.

10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?

Aren't those both the same thing? I don't know, maybe I'm stupid, but I think those are both the same exact thing. If you are doing things right, aren't you doing the right things? And if you are doing the right things, aren't you doing things right?
I suppose I know what the question is trying to ask. So I suppose my answer is this: I'm trying to do the right things the right way.


Tuesday, March 13, 2012

I Just Need to Rant for a Minute

   I am having difficulty with my old boyfriend. (I am also having trouble with the word "ex". I can't seem to call him my "ex-boyfriend". I don't know why.)
   He thinks he can be mean to me all day when his friends are around, and ignore me, and then after school, he walks home with me and acts like my best friend. What a douche! (Excuse my language.) I tell him this, and he says he'll stop, but he doesn't. And I hate it.
   The problem is, I still love him. What is wrong with me? Why do I always fall in love with people who turn out to be losers in the end?
   I am also having issues with my parents. They are always stressed and in bad moods, and they won't listen to me! I try to talk, and I try to help, and I try to tell them things and they JUST WON'T LISTEN!!! I understand that they are stressed! I understand that they are tired (they are the parents of five children after all)! But sometimes I just want them to listen. Is it too much to ask? That is what they signed up for, isn't it?

Monday, March 12, 2012

50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind: Part 1

   I was reading another blog (Why Girls Are Weird) and I discovered a list of "50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind". So I decided I would do five of them at a time until I am done. And maybe my mind will be a little bit more "free".

  1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
   Good question. Honestly, I think I feel the age that I am. I feel very 15. Not to say I wouldn't rather be a different age. But that is how I feel.
     2. Which is worse, failing or never trying?
   I don't believe in failure. Thomas Edison once said, "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 different ways that don't work." If you got your butt off the couch and turned off the televsion, you've accomplished something. No failure there.
     3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don't like and like so many things we don't do?
   Whoa. That's deep. I think it's because we are, nine times out of ten, forced to do the things we don't like. Take gym class, for example. I can't get out of that one. As for the second part, I think it's because we are afraid to fail. I f we really like something, we don't want to screw it up. But, as I said in the last question, you can't fail.
     4. When it's all said and done, will you have said more than you've done?
   Sadly.....yes. I talk way too much. And I almost never do anything. I mean, I guess I do things, but I'm not out there trying new things and living it up. That is one of my biggest regrets thus far in my life. Good thing I'm still a teenager.
     5. What is one thing you'd most like to change about the world?
   That's a hard one. There's a lot I'd like to change. The first thing that popped into my head, though, was the fact that there are children starving in Africa and kids in America who complain because they don't have the latest smart phone or the newest Nikes. Come on. That's messed up. Someone's either gotta make these Americans (myslef inculded) be a little more grateful, or they've gotta get some food for the African babies.

Pretty Dang Awesome

   Sorry for going AWOL. Lacrosse practice (super fun but super painful), lack of sleep, and excessive homework are finally starting to take their toll on me.
   I had a GREAT weekend. To start with, it was three days, because we had Friday off school! (Our school is so poor that we just cut random days in the middle of the year.) Thursday night I saw my school's production of The Sound of Music, which was fantastic, and I talked to my eighth grade history teacher during intermission. She is amazing. Friday, I slept in, which is always fun, and I watched T.V. The most relaxing day ever. Saturday was AMAZING! I went to a dance. My church periodically has dances for the youth, and they are SUPER fun. AND I DANCED WITH THIS GUY WHO I'VE HAD A MASSIVE CRUSH ON SINCE FIFTH GRADE!!!!!!! And HE asked ME to dance. AAAAAAHHH! I smiled for hours afterward.
   And today wasn't too bad either. For a Monday, anyway. :) My old boyfriend Mike talked to me today. We've only been broken up a little over a month, so things are still kind of in that awkward phase. But a few days ago he apologized for being so mean to me (he's been acting like a real loser), and said that he didn't know why he'd been being so mean to me, because he still really likes me. And today we talked just like we were best friends again.
   I have a pretty good life. I might complain about it a lot, but it's definitely not bad.
   I do have a dilemma, though. This guy who is a really good friend of mine (James) is going to ask me out. His best friend (Derryck) told me so. And I really don't want to hurt his feelings, 'cause I really value our friendship, but I don't want to go out with him! Especially since I actually do still have feelings for Mike.
   But I'm just sort of ignoring that part of my life right now. Because the rest of it is pretty dang awesome.