Friday, December 28, 2012

And the Time Magazine Person of the Year Is...

   ...Barack Obama.
   I'm not a Mitt Romney fan. I'm not an Obama fan either. I respect him, though, as the president as the United States, as a father, as a man. But Person of the Year? Really?
   It's not so weird, until you consider number 2: Malala Yousafzai, a 15-year-old girl who was shot in the head by a Taliban gunman for advocating education for women. Really? We have a teenage girl who was shot in the head for something she believes in, and we have a politician who has sat in an office for the past 4 years and somehow managed to get re-elected.
   Number 5 in Time Magazine's oh-so-reliable Person of the Year List was Fabiola Gianotti, a particle physicist in charge of the ATLAS experiment. She has a Ph.D. in sub-nuclear physics. Her thesis was on data analysis for the UA2 experiment. And here we have our dear Mr. President saying things like "America is no longer a Christian nation." (By the way, America was founded on Christian principles.)
   I'm not disrespecting our president. I don't love him. But I didn't really like any of the other candidates either. The thing that makes me mad here is Time Magazine. Liberalistic trash.
   Not that I'm overly conservative. I'm not. I consider myself Republican, but I'm not gonna go move out on a farm and hide out with my guns and my 100% straight family. (Interesting factoid: Most people in this world are actually bi, according to recent scientific studies.)
   I just wish they had selected their people of the year with a little less bias. Kinda makes me want to cancel my subscription.

Saturday, December 22, 2012

50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind: Part 9

41. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?
   My lonely great-grandma. My ex-boyfriend that I need to apologize to. My entire immediate family. The boy I've loved for a long time. My best friend Rachel. A woman who I offended sometime last year. A boy whose feelings I really hurt in the 4th grade. That day has stuck with me forever. I'd need to right the wrongs. But I'd also like to make more right the rights.

42. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?
   This depends entirely on how long my life expectancy is. Will I live to 110? Then yes. Will I live to 60? Then no. Also, I think I'd like the fame AND the beauty, not just one.

43. What is the difference between being alive and truly living?
   I believe that truly living only comes once you know what you are living for. Until that point, you are just alive. I don't mean that your life is worthless until you are truly living. The period before you know what you are living for is a period of immense growth, as you try to find out what it is you are living for.

44. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?
   For me, things are right when the reward outweighs the risk. I suppose sometimes I just get these intense gut feelings, but usually I only take calculated risks.

45. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?
   I had to think about this one for a while. I think it is because experience is a very hard teacher-we get the test first and the lessons afterwards. We don't want to make a mistake because although we may learn from it, we still have to face whatever consequences we have inflicted upon ourselves.


   I made it into the spring musical. As a chorus girl. In talking to my choir director the reason I didn't get a lead is because one of the shows falls at exactly the same time as districts for speech and debate. Which by the way I'm really good at. And it's going to bring me some serious scholarships in the future, so our director doesn't want to rob me of the opportunity to make it to state, and hopefully nationals.
   My event is called oratory. It's a ten minute persuasive speech following a pattern of "problem-cause-solution". I would post it, but someone might steal it. I've won several 3rd and 2nd places (no 1st yet) so evidently it's a decent speech.
   Yeah, I'm a little cocky. I'll admit it.
   IT'S ALMOST CHRISTMAS! I finished my Christmas shopping today. I am so excited!

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

I Haven't Blogged Since May...

...which is kind of insane. At any rate, I thouhgt it'd be a good time to start up again, since I need some sort of creative outlet. Most of the reason I haven't been around is because I worked all summer, and the beginning of this school year has been hard.
   Yeah. I'm a sophomore now. Moving my way up the ladder. I see a lot of freshmen, and I'm like, "Oh gosh. Is that what I was like?" It's frightening, really. There are these three freshmen boys in my Spanish class, and they're always trying to flirt with us girls, who are completely uninterested. It makes me laugh. They think they are so cool. But they're not. :)
   For the most part school is going well....I have A's in all my classes except AP U.S. History, which I have a B in, but it's a 4 point B. And Pre-Calc. I'm failing that.
   My teacher is AWFUL. He doesn't want to teach or help anyone with anything and he's always gone at dentist appointments or  conferences and so we end up with these awful substitutes that don't know the first thing about math.
   On the bright side, it's almost Christmas! I love Christmas. I'm doing all my shopping this weekend. It's just like me to put it all off until the 22nd. :)
   I've had a lot of guy dilemmas at the beginning of this year. My best friend James asked me out, and when I said no, he went all teenage girl on me about how I "don't appreciate him" and stuff like that. He's over it now though. Mostly.
   Another guy decided it was okay to be all "Oh I really really like you" and then go and tell me that we can't be together because his friends don't like me and he "can't betray his friends like that". Idiot.
   Mostly, I've decided to forget about guys until my 16th birthday. I mean, I'll still be friends with them, but that's all.
   And my 16th birthday is in February. So I can do it. :)

Friday, May 25, 2012

Memorial Day Weekend

I am very much in need of this three-day weekend.
For one, I have a bunch of missing assignments in science and geometry. Those need to get finished.
For another, it is supposed to be sunny (at least tomorrow and Sunday are) and my legs are PASTY! All this Oregon winter leaves you looking as white as paper. I need to get my tan back.
Should be a fun weekend. I'm getting ice cream tonight with my home-dogs, and tomorrow night I'm babysitting. Then Monday is Memorial day, and I'm having a barbecue with my family and some friends. Pretty exciting stuff. :)

Monday, May 21, 2012

School is Almost Over

   School is almost almost ALMOST over. And then....NO MORE FRESHMAN YEAR, EEVVVVEEERRRR!!!!!!!
   And then it will be summer. And I have a babysitting job this summer, which is AWESOME! I'll make money, but it's not gonna take up every spare moment I've got, so I still have time to hang with my friends and stuff.
   I'm trying to get all my grades up to A's before the year is over. I'm SO close....but I'm not there yet. Ugh. Math is killing me.
   I tokk my AP Human Geography Exam on Friday. It actually wasn't too hard. The multiple choice was pretty easy, and two of the essay questions were easy, but the last one was hard.
   Here's the link to the essay questions (they release them 48 hours after the test):
   Soon, we will be going to the beach and shopping and doing everything we want to do.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

AP Human Geography

   I have my first ever AP test tomorrow. AP Human Geography. I am terrified and yet somewhat excited, for some odd reason.
   Wish me luck!

Friday, May 11, 2012


   It is FINALLY the weekend. I'm so happy I could almost cry. It has been the longest week in the history of ever.
   That being said, it's been a pretty good week too. And the weekend is going to be phenomanal. Tonight I am going to watch T.V. to my heart's content, and I will sleep in tomorrow morning. Then tomorrow afternoon I am going shopping with Jasmine and Rachel, and then at night, I'm going to a dance. And guess who's gonna be there? BEN! And with the luck I've been having this week, everything will be perfect.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Space Junk

   If I weren't so bad at physics I would totally be an astrophysicist.
   See, I LOVE space and time and string theory and all that crazy junk. But I am terrible at math. And this poses a problem in physics, which, incidentally, is mostly math.
   I'm planning on going to nursing school after high school, since I love people and medicine and the science that they do is mosly chemistry, which I also love. But all those stars and planets and black holes and dark energy and dark matter....ah. It's enough to make you wish they were still sending people to the moon.
   I fell in love with space when I started watching Star Trek: Voyager with my brother. (This is the series that people claim isn't a real Star Trek because the captain is a woman. Total crap. She's amazing.) This love was reinforced when we had a brief astronomy unit in science last semester. And now I just read everything I can possible find on the subject because I LOVE it.
   Right now I'm trying to understand anti-matter. It really doesn'tmake much sense. I can't seem to wrap my head around the idea that it's not matter or space, and yet it still exists. But that's what makes it so cool.
   And then there's string theory. This is the theory that proposes that there is actually TEN dimensions. There's the three we know to be true (line, flat plane, and three-dimensional space), there's time, and then there's six more. CRAZY! The problem comes with proving their existence. But we can do it. We proved that the world was round when it was thought to be flat. We proved that the earth orbits around the sun. We've proved crazy, AMAZING things. We'll get this eventually.

Monday, May 7, 2012

Songs That Are Inspiring Me Right Now

   Due to the stupidity of my computer, I won't be posting the links for these songs like I usually do. Pathetic, I know.

"Payphone" by Maroon 5
   I am addicted to this song. I am addicted to Maroon 5. Seriously. Legitamitely. (Did I spell that right? I don't think so.)

"Diamonds" by Rob Thomas
   This is a beautiful song. And Rob Thomas has an amazing voice.

"Everybody's Fool" by Evanescance
   This song is an amazing portrayal of how people hide their emotions. Someone can appear perfectly happy to everyone else, but be dying inside. That's why there needs to be a mix of emotions.

"My Front Porch Looking In" by Lonestar
   This is one of the only songs written in the last decade that places value on the family. I personally hold my family very dear to me, and I love this song.

"What Makes You Beautiful" by One Direction
   No, I am not a crazy over-the-top One Direction fan. But this is a really good song. I dance whenever it comes on. :)

Thursday, May 3, 2012

50 Question That Will Free Your Mind: Part 8

36. Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?
   About some things, it is. For instance, killing people. It's not good to kill people. But about some things, some people might have gray areas. Like abortion, and gay marriage, and some of the other things sitting before our United States congress. I know what my views are on these things, but I'm biased. I may or may not be right.

37. If you just one a million dollars, would you quit your job?
   Seeing as I don't currently hold a steady job, I would have to say, yes, I would quit babysitting and save it so I could go to a good college and get a job I really enjoy.

38. Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?
   If I enjoy it, I don't know if I really see it as work. It's fun. So I suppose I'd rather have more "work" I actually enjoy. But I would very much enjoy having less work right now. Less homework would be nice. Speaking of which, I should be doing my geometry homework right now.....

39. Do you feel like you've lived this day a hundred times before?
   Ooh, I like this question. Yes, my days are very repetitive. In some ways I like it (you know, that whole "safety in repetition" thing), but for the most part, I don't. But it's kinda hard to mix it up when you gotta go to school every day, with the same classes and the same people. I try. But it's difficult.

40. When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?
   Never. If I strongly believe in it, the days of "soft glow" are long gone. When I march into the dark with something I truly believe in, I've got a whole hoard of flashlights and lanterns and it's nearly as bright as day.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind: Part 7

31. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?
   Probably about a month after my last boyfriend dumped me. I was sad for a while, but I decided to move on and stop wasting my life away with wishes. I decided to live in the moment.

32. If not now, then when?
   I think it should always be now, personally. Don't procrastinate and live in the moment. But I suppose some things can wait until tomorrow. Sometimes. Like English homework. :)

33. If you haven't achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?
   That is a GOOD QUESTION. Now I'm gonna have to think about that.....
   Yep, I'm gonna do it.

34. Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?
   I suppose it would show narrow-mindedness and lack of experience in life to say no, but seriously, that's the answer. I know there are things that can be conveyed without words, but as a writer, I like words best. I enjoy writing and speaking and I am not good at artsy things like painting and drawing. Words are my favorite form of expression.

35. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?
   I really don't have a good answer for this. I'm a Christian myself, and I hate the idea of war. But at the same time I think that it sometimes becomes necessary to fight for what you believe in. I think there are more peaceful ways of doing that than war. But I guess the rest of the world hasn't figured that out yet.


   I am SO ready for summer.
   We got a brief glimpse of sunshine-y glory on Monday. It was eighty degrees, and it was GORGEOUS. But Tuesday it was back to clouds.
   Reasons I am ready for summer:
1. NO SCHOOL! I am so done being a freshman. I am so done doing homework.
2. The summer weather is BEAUTIFUL here in Oregon. It rarely gets above ninety, and the sky is just perfectly blue.
3. I will not be sleep deprived in the summer. I can sleep as late as I want and wake up to birds chirping outside my window.
4. I can actually do things with my friends. During the school year, we are all so busy that we NEVER do anything, unless it's someone's birthday or something, and in the summer, we can spend all day wandering aimlessly around town if we want to. We can frolic through fields of daisies if we want to. And we have lots of time for bacon chesseburgers and fresh blackberry milkshakes.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012


   Alright. I have to tell you about my newest love interest.
   He is a junior. And he is nice and funny and he actually talks to me, believe it or not. His name is Ben.
   I made the mistake of telling his younger sister (she is in 7th grade) that I liked him, and now I'm fairly positive that he knows. Not that I actually care that much. :)

B Days

   I absolutely 100% despise B days.
   Let me explain: we have this schedule at my school where you have 1st block every day, 2nd, 3rd, and 4th block on A days, and 5th, 6th, and 7th block on B days. Weird, I know.
   Today was a B day.

Science: I am in the Honors Physical Science class. This class isn't as bad since we started chemistry, but physics were despicable. Absolutely awful. I couldn't understand them at all. It's like math that isn't actually math. Actually, I don't even know what physics were. :) But chemistry's all right. It's just that I really don't like my teacher. She never answers my questions and then when she does she answers them with this smugness in her voice that says "You're so stupid for asking that question."

Spanish: Spanish One is so ridiculously easy it makes me want to cry. On the bright side, it's a great place to get my English homework done.

Lunch: I have 1st lunch on B days, and I hate it. It's at 11:00 and that is way too early for me to eat lunch. So I usually eat during English.

English: This class is also very easy, and we read the dumbest stuff ever. Romeo and Juliet, for instance. This is not the beautiful tragic love story that everyone claims it is. It is a four-day relationship between a 13-year-old and a 17-year-old resulting in six deaths. Seriously.

PE: Ah, the glories of Freshman Physical Education. I hate it. Who cares how many push-ups you can do in a minute? Is that going to go on your high school transcript? Not me. No.

Monday, April 9, 2012

My Friends

   I decided that it would be good if I were to introduce you all to a few of my friends. Since I do talk about them a lot.

Rachel is like my sister. See, back in the day, I was besties with this girl, and Rachel was besties with her older sister (Rachel is a year older than me). The two of them moved away, and Rachel and I were somehow thrown together by fate. She's got dark brown hair and hazel eyes and is one of the nicest people I know.

James is my first ex-boyfriend. He and I are very good friends and we talk all the time. He knows what makes me happy and what makes me upset and I like that about him. When I tell people that we dated, they think there's still something going on, but I can assure you, there isn't.

Jasmine is the new girl in school. She is the little sister of a good friend of my mom's so I was the first person here that she met when she moved in with her sister. She shares a locker with me now and she's really really nice.

Archer is someone I had a gigantic crush on for many a year, but we are just friends. He likes to take my food, especially during thrid block (it's right before lunch-we get hungry). He's way smart and can beat anyone in a debate about anything. But don't tell him I said so. :)

Chase is Archer's twin brother. He is amazing and smarter than Archer. He is absolutely brilliant, but he is so freaking lazy that you'd never know. I've never seen him do homework in my life, but he gets A's on all the tests. Go figure.

Gary is another really smart, really funny guy. (I have a lot of nerdy guy friends :) Kinda funny.) He is often my lab partner in science, because he's really good at science, and I'm not.

Duncan is obligated to be my friend because he is in five of my classes. (He used to be in all of them, but I got a schedule change and ruined that one in a million chance.) He's really funny and pretty smart and he once ruined a white bathrobe with ketchup during English. Don't ask.

Mckenzie is the little sister of my latest ex-boyfriend, Mike. She is amazing, except she's not very good at keeping secrets. :) She plays basketball and is a really nice girl.

Kaylyn is the girl who lives across the street from me. We both moved here about the same time, and since we were little kids, and couldn't leave our street without our parents, we started playing together.

Jessica is a senior and is without a doubt the NICEST person I have EVER met. She never yells or gossips or gets mad or ANYTHING. I love her.

Spencer is Jessica's step-brother, and he has a personality similar to Jessica's. He is SO nice. Really nice.

Angler is like my brother. He makes fun of me and I make fun of him and we have a lot in common. He calls me "the female version of [him]" and I call him "the brother I never wanted."

   I think that's pretty much all of my good friends. Now let me introduce you to some people who aren't really my friends.

Mike is my ex-boyfriend and he's been being a real douche lately (excuse my language). And that's enough said, I think.

Bryanna is someone I have already talked about. She's basically a spoiled brat who refuses to lose at anything.

Hannah used to be my best friend, until last year, when she decided to yell and scream at me and then never talk to me again. I'm still not really sure what happened.

Friday, April 6, 2012

50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind: Part 6

26. Would you rather lose all of your old memories or never be able to make new ones?
   I'd rather lose the ones I've got. I feel like life would be kinda pointless if I couldn't remember anything I did from now on. In a way, we kinda live to make memories, don't we?

27. Is it possible to know the truth without challenging it first?
   No. The very fact that you ask a question to find out what the truth is would be challenging the truth. For instance, if you say to a young toddler, "Did you eat that cookie?" you are challenging whether or not they ate the cookie.

28. Has your greatest fear ever come true?
   I don't think you can know your greatest fear until it comes. You might think that your greatest fear is being hit by a truck, but one day something may come along that happens unexpectedly and scares you more than you ever knew possible.

29. Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now?
   Nope. Not at all. And that's why I don't let small things get to me anymore. Because in a few months it won't matter, if I even still remember it.

30. What was your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special?
   Back when we lived in a little apartment and my dad worked for the state of California, me and my mom and my little brother used to make peanut butter and banana sandwiches and eat them by the pool. We used to go on walks all the time and dress up and dance in the living room. But that was before my dad had a good job. Before we had money. I don't know why people complain about having too little money. It's just as bad when you have it. Everyone is still stressed, just about different things.

Friday, March 30, 2012

My First "Official" Play

   Today I acted in my very first official play.
   Actually, I don't know that I can call it "official". It was written by me, a bunch of fourth graders, and an eighth grade boy. So you can see why I might doubt the validity of its officiality.
   Nevertheless, it was fun. I got to wear a pretty long white princess dress, sparkly shoes, and a plastic tiara. It was nice to play princess again for the first time since I was a little girl.
   The one thing that I am quite proud of was the song that I wrote. I took the "Favorite Things" song (from The Sound of Music) and rewrote lyrics to fit the "bratty princess" stereotype (if there is such a thing). This was the persona portrayed by myself and three adorable fourth grade girls. The song was a huge hit. I loved it.
   Here's the lyrics (don't laugh):

Flying on carpets
and finding my slipper
Kissing a frog prince
and sleeping 'till dinner
Shopping at the mall and spending money
these are a few of my favorite things
Shopping for handbags and riding in limos
Dancing with princes and skipping in meadows
Planning a party and singing a song
these are a few of my favorite things
When it's dark out
when it's cold out
when I'm feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
and then I don't feel so bad

   I was Cinderella.
   There was one other princess........
   He was the eighth grade boy I previously mentioned. His name was Arlo...or Simon...or Hungry...
   He was Belle. Except he wanted to be a "bear princess" (which sounds really weird when you say it out loud), so we came up with the story that "she" kissed the beast and therefore turned into a beast.
   He was a nice guy......funny too.....but still, he was and eighth grade boy. And we all know how they are.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

My Favorite Things

This is a VERY incomplete list of things I am grateful for.

Rainbows, cadbury chocolate eggs, peanut butter, music, my family, my home, Christmas, parties, new clothes, colored pencils, butterflies, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, snow, flowery gardens, chocolate, laughing, singing, talking, daffodials, the world, brand-new notebooks, computers, goldfish (the animal kind), Goldfish (crackers), red roses, minty gum, mirrors, jewelry, bubble baths, Christmas music, Oreos, my friends, shopping, Sharpies, sunshine, Ugg boots, summer, running, flip-flops, comfortable Nike running shoes, blank paper, pastels, duct tape, my bed, pajama pants, good books, writing, cute jackets, worn-in jeans, the ocean, Izze's grapefruit soda, Star Trek Voyager,  the internet, Jesus Christ, birthdays, friendship bracelets, swimming pools, mascara, peace, chocolate cake, The Little Mermaid, love, indoor plumbing, Skittles, Mexican food, the mall, bright colors, pink lemonade, jelly beans, detective shows, joy, muffins, Easter lilies, romantic comedies, traveling, rain, scented candles, smiles, falling in love, hot chocolate, roller coasters, Eggo waffles, painting, debates, cute swimsuits, digital cameras, gel pens, Netflix, Chapstick brand chapstick, barbecue sauce, waterslides, Hershey kisses, fashion, peach blossoms, mangos, fancy dresses, running shorts, white roses, good grades, Jell-o, Mike and Ikes, Milk Duds, mail polish, Matt Damon, Mountain Dew, Spicy food, 3-legged races, fluffy white dandelions, long walks on the beach, Ke$ha, Ferris wheels, deep dish pizza, Food Network, H&M, Sweet potato fries, dancing, New Year's Eve, Disney princesses........

Try saying all that in one breath. :)

50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind: Part 5

21. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?
   I love being happy. If I was worried, I couldn't even enjoy the fact that I was a genius. So I'd be the joyful simpleton.

22. Why are you, you?
   I am different from anyone I've ever known. I don't follow the crowd. I do what I want, wear what I want, and say what I want. I am me because I am me, and that's how I roll.

23. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?
   I think so. That being said, I've had some bad moments, as anyone has. But I try. And some people might think I'm annoying, or stupid, or something else, but I don't care. 'Cause I like myslef just fine.

24. Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?
   Losing touch with a friend who is nearby. When they move away, whether you stay in touch or not, you get over it, but when you see them every day at the mailbox, or the grocery store, or whatever, you think, gosh, I really should do something with her sometime. But you never do, so it just sits there and eats at you every day.

25. What are you most grateful for?
   I don't know that I could pick just one thing, so I'll make a list in MY NEXT POST! (Which will likely be in a few minutes.) :)

Tuesday, March 27, 2012


Alright.....whaddya think? These are some of my favorite poems I've written over the last year.

I remember
the first time you held me in your arms.

I remember the time
when everything spiraled out of control
and together
we cried.

I remember
the look in your eyes
when I told you it was over
and how it changed
when I took you back.

I remember
walking home and holding hands
and how you'd stop
and wrap your arms around my waist
and kiss me
before we parted ways.

I remember the days
when we stood by that tree
and pulled off all the leaves.

I remember
how you'd kiss me
when I was in the middle
of saying something
and there's not a day
when I don't miss it all.

And then
there was
the end.

The end
and I
was standing alone.

Standing alone
and watching you
walking away.

Walking away
and leaving me


I couldn't bring myslef
To believe it, at first

Why? Why did you do it?
All this time, you told me you loved me
Soft, sweet lips on mine

After all this time, I thought we had something
Love, even
Lying isn't something I forgive easily

Acting like you cared, but you didn't

It was all a lie

How am I supposed to choose
when I have everything to lose?

How am I supposed to know
on which path I'm meant to go.

How am I supposed to start
when I have a broken heart?

Where is it that I'm meant to be
and why is no one there for me?

Which road am I supposed to take
and who will meet me when I wake?

But as it is, just time will tell
oh, when is my release from hell?

Monday, March 26, 2012

50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind: Part 4

16. How come the things that make you happy don't make everyone happy?
   Because we re all different people. For instance, I enjoy acting. But some people have terrible stage fright. It also makes me happy when I spend time with my family. But some people have atrocious family lives.
17. What is one thing you have not done that you really want to do? What's holding you back?
   Skydiving. And the thing that's holding me back is that I'm under 18, and my parents won't give me permission. Darn those stupid child protection laws. :)
18. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?
   I think I am still holding on to a couple of past relationships and grudges-I am holding a grudge against a girl who was mean to me in middle school, I am holding on to my last boyfriend, and thinking that we can still be best friends. But that won't work, and I need to move on.
19. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, which one would it be and why?
   I would move back to California. I was born there and lived there until I was eight, and maybe it's just because I was a little kid back then, but I have a lot of beautiful memories from California. It was always sunny, and I had great friends and I was really good at the monkey bars and......ah.
20. Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?
   I have never heard this thing about it making the elevator faster. I only push it once. But I do make a point to jump when that little "bounce" thing happens, right before you get to your floor. I also like to hum when there are other people in the elevator.

Friday, March 23, 2012

Songs That Are Inspiring Me Right Now

"Kiss Me Slowly" by Parachute
So, SSOOO beautiful.

"Somebody I Used to Know" by Gotye
I love this song. It's happened to me, it happens to all of us.

"Starships" by Nikki Minaj
(There's no official music vieo for this one, but you can use the link to listen to the song.) This is such an empowering song. It makes me wanna FLY!

"Smile" by Avril Lavigne
I always wanna dance when I hear this song. It's a perect song to complement the mentality I try to live by. "Always be happy, even when things are looking down. You just have to smile."

"My Immortal" by Evanescance
I love Evanescance. This is the song I'm trying out for the talent show with. My bestie Rachel is playing the piano and I'm singing. :) I hope we get in! Should be fun. :)

Spring Break

   School let out for Spring Break today. I just got back from a babysitting job, so now I have a little extra cash in my pocket. I'm hoping to go see The Hunger Games this next week. And next week I am going to a theater workshop kind of thing (to learn about acting-which is pretty dang fun) with my younger sister. And I get to sleep in and stay up late wacthing Star Trek and White Collar and Phineas and Ferb.
   I hope it stays warm. Up here in the northwest, it rains. A lot. All the time. But lately it's been getting warmer, and I hope it stays that way. Spring Break isn't Spring Break if it's rainy and cold.
   What are your plans for Spring Break, darlings?
   By the way-I've been invited to a writing convention at Portland State in May for high schoolers all over Oregon. In the next few days, I'll be posting some short writing pieces and I need opinions on whcih one I should bring with me to share! Thanks everyone!

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind: Part 3

11. You're having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing that she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?
   This happens to me a lot. And seriously, a lot of times I just pretend I didn't hear it. I know that's not what I should do, but it's hard, sometimes, to stand up for someone, especially when you could lose the respect of those other three people.

12. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?
   Provided they would understand me, I would tell them to never listen to anyone else's opinion of them. Because, seriously, the only person who's opinion of you matters is you.

13. Would you ever break the law to save a loved one?
   Maybe. I wouldn't kill anyone. Ever. I don't think I could if I tried. But if it was like, something like stealing candy from a store or tax fraud or something, probably. It depends on how loved they were. :)

14. Have you ever seen insanity where you later law creativity?
   In myself. :) I used to think I was CRAZY. But I started wrting and drawing and singing and I realized what that craziness was for. There's also my art teacher from a little while back. When I first met her, I though she was an absolute lunatic. But I realized later that she was so creative and absolutely amazing.

15. What's something you know you do differently than most people?
   A lot of things. I dress differently. I dress for me. I'm a lot happier than most people. I think I'm a little more mature than most people my age. I sleep more and use a lot more chapstick. :) I'm not all crazy about women's rights, like most girls are. I mean, I agree that women should have the right to vote and stuff, but I'm not really offended by "sexist" jokes. They're really just stupid. In fact, I'm really not offended by much of anything.

Monday, March 19, 2012


   I have decided to stop letting anything bother me. Ever.
   Why? I am in control of my own happiness. And I have decided to no longer care about what anyone thinks of me. Or about little things, like spilled milk, or getting an 89% on a test I was sure I would get and A on, because in the long run, does it really matter? No. In ten years, am I gonna care about what anyone thought of me my freshman year of high school? No. I am gonna be me, for the rest of forever, and stop listening to people who want me to be someone else. They don't matter. And they'll never like me anyway.
   I am gonna wear what I want, and say what I want, and be who I want. I'm not gonna live up to anyone's expectations except for my own. I won't compete with anyone but myself.
   Some people might say that's selfish. They're wrong. I'm still gonna be nice to other people. It's not like I'm gonna start being mean or anything. But I'm done comparing myself to other people. I'm done being judged. And I'm also done judging other people. I'm gonna be even nicer. I want to be the best person I can be. But not to satisfy anyone else. Just for me.
   I see all these unhappy people every day, and I think, If only! If only you knew that you could control your own happiness! If only you knew!
   So I am going to be happy. For better or for worse, I'm not letting anything bother me anymore.

Saturday, March 17, 2012


   Today I made pie.
   I made two pies: one cherry and one a mixture of blueberry, blackberry, and raspberry. They actually turned out pretty awesome. I would post a picture, but I forgot to take one. And one of the pies is now gone. And the other is half gone.
   This is what happens when 13-year-old boys get a hold of pie. I swear, they just eat and eat and eat and never stop.

Friday, March 16, 2012

Songs That Are Inspiring Me Right Now

"Drive By" by Train
This song is SO sweet. And the music video is adorable! It sorta makes you want to be serenaded. :)

"Stronger" by Kelly Clarkson
This is my theme song right now. It got me through those first two weeks of February. Every time it comes on the radio, I dance around my room like a crazy person. :)

"Piano Man" by Billy Joel
This song is just so catchy. It gets stuck in my head so easily and I LOVE it!

"Fall For You" by Secondhand Serenade
My friend told me to listen to this song back in fifth grade and it's been my favorite song ever since. It is absolutely beautiful.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind: Part 2

6. If happiness was a national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?

Work.....I'm having issues with that term. I would love to write for a living. I would love to act. I'd love to be a lawyer, and a doctor, and a mom, and a psychologist, and an artist. But all of those things sound like so much fun. I don't know that I'd consider it work if I loved it.

7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?

I'm in high school. Do I believe in high school? I don't know. I'm not sure if high school is something you can believe in.
Alright, that was lame. I guess, of the things that I'm really, actively, passionately doing, I believe in them. But I am definitely settling for high school. Because I really have no other options.

8. If the average human lifespan was forty years, how would you live your life differently?

I think I'd take it a little more seriously, but at the same time, I'd try to have more fun. Right now, I've got about sixty to seventy more years of life ahead of me. I always think, I've got lots of time to be serious. I'm gonna be a kid while I can. But I also sit around saying, I have lots of time to have fun. I can waste as much time as I want. Both of those ideas need to be changed, because what if I do die when I'm forty?

9. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?

I think that everything I've ever done has been under my control. I mean, sure, there have been things may parents have restricted me from doing, places they wouldn't let me go. But I could've snuck out. I could've been a bad kid. Ultamitely, it was all my decision.

10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?

Aren't those both the same thing? I don't know, maybe I'm stupid, but I think those are both the same exact thing. If you are doing things right, aren't you doing the right things? And if you are doing the right things, aren't you doing things right?
I suppose I know what the question is trying to ask. So I suppose my answer is this: I'm trying to do the right things the right way.


Tuesday, March 13, 2012

I Just Need to Rant for a Minute

   I am having difficulty with my old boyfriend. (I am also having trouble with the word "ex". I can't seem to call him my "ex-boyfriend". I don't know why.)
   He thinks he can be mean to me all day when his friends are around, and ignore me, and then after school, he walks home with me and acts like my best friend. What a douche! (Excuse my language.) I tell him this, and he says he'll stop, but he doesn't. And I hate it.
   The problem is, I still love him. What is wrong with me? Why do I always fall in love with people who turn out to be losers in the end?
   I am also having issues with my parents. They are always stressed and in bad moods, and they won't listen to me! I try to talk, and I try to help, and I try to tell them things and they JUST WON'T LISTEN!!! I understand that they are stressed! I understand that they are tired (they are the parents of five children after all)! But sometimes I just want them to listen. Is it too much to ask? That is what they signed up for, isn't it?

Monday, March 12, 2012

50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind: Part 1

   I was reading another blog (Why Girls Are Weird) and I discovered a list of "50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind". So I decided I would do five of them at a time until I am done. And maybe my mind will be a little bit more "free".

  1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
   Good question. Honestly, I think I feel the age that I am. I feel very 15. Not to say I wouldn't rather be a different age. But that is how I feel.
     2. Which is worse, failing or never trying?
   I don't believe in failure. Thomas Edison once said, "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 different ways that don't work." If you got your butt off the couch and turned off the televsion, you've accomplished something. No failure there.
     3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don't like and like so many things we don't do?
   Whoa. That's deep. I think it's because we are, nine times out of ten, forced to do the things we don't like. Take gym class, for example. I can't get out of that one. As for the second part, I think it's because we are afraid to fail. I f we really like something, we don't want to screw it up. But, as I said in the last question, you can't fail.
     4. When it's all said and done, will you have said more than you've done?
   Sadly.....yes. I talk way too much. And I almost never do anything. I mean, I guess I do things, but I'm not out there trying new things and living it up. That is one of my biggest regrets thus far in my life. Good thing I'm still a teenager.
     5. What is one thing you'd most like to change about the world?
   That's a hard one. There's a lot I'd like to change. The first thing that popped into my head, though, was the fact that there are children starving in Africa and kids in America who complain because they don't have the latest smart phone or the newest Nikes. Come on. That's messed up. Someone's either gotta make these Americans (myslef inculded) be a little more grateful, or they've gotta get some food for the African babies.

Pretty Dang Awesome

   Sorry for going AWOL. Lacrosse practice (super fun but super painful), lack of sleep, and excessive homework are finally starting to take their toll on me.
   I had a GREAT weekend. To start with, it was three days, because we had Friday off school! (Our school is so poor that we just cut random days in the middle of the year.) Thursday night I saw my school's production of The Sound of Music, which was fantastic, and I talked to my eighth grade history teacher during intermission. She is amazing. Friday, I slept in, which is always fun, and I watched T.V. The most relaxing day ever. Saturday was AMAZING! I went to a dance. My church periodically has dances for the youth, and they are SUPER fun. AND I DANCED WITH THIS GUY WHO I'VE HAD A MASSIVE CRUSH ON SINCE FIFTH GRADE!!!!!!! And HE asked ME to dance. AAAAAAHHH! I smiled for hours afterward.
   And today wasn't too bad either. For a Monday, anyway. :) My old boyfriend Mike talked to me today. We've only been broken up a little over a month, so things are still kind of in that awkward phase. But a few days ago he apologized for being so mean to me (he's been acting like a real loser), and said that he didn't know why he'd been being so mean to me, because he still really likes me. And today we talked just like we were best friends again.
   I have a pretty good life. I might complain about it a lot, but it's definitely not bad.
   I do have a dilemma, though. This guy who is a really good friend of mine (James) is going to ask me out. His best friend (Derryck) told me so. And I really don't want to hurt his feelings, 'cause I really value our friendship, but I don't want to go out with him! Especially since I actually do still have feelings for Mike.
   But I'm just sort of ignoring that part of my life right now. Because the rest of it is pretty dang awesome.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

"You're So Much Better Than Me"....NOT

   I know this girl who thinks that she absolutely has to be better than everyone at everything. There are some things she is the best at. She is better at most sports than pretty much all of the girls I know. She is prettier than a lot of the girls I know. She is very good at getting what she wants.
   But here's the thing: nobody likes her. I think people who are constantly doing anything they can do be the best (including telling people that they are better than them so as to diminish their self-esteem and cause them to stop trying) just get on everyone's nerves.
   See, this aforementioned girl has been at odds with me since the third grade. She is very ticked off, because there are two things she has never been able to do better than me: academics and being friends with boys.
   I think she has kind of accepted that she will never be better than me at school. (I hate to sound like the kind of person that I am currently describing, but I really am much better in school than Bryanna. If you don't count P.E.) But what she can never seem to accept is that all boys don't like her.
   Lately this guy named Sam has been showing an interest in me. This girl I know doesn't even like him, but she cannot seem to accept the fact that a guy likes me, because, to be honest, guys don't like her. (She's very dominating and controlling and stubborn to the point that it just exhausts people.) So she decided to sit and tell me all the resons why Sam is madly in love with her, and all about how he told her that he liked her so much, and on and on and ON. And I'm like, SHUT UP ALREADY! I mean, Sam's a nice guy and all, and he's my friend, but I don't like him like that. So it doesn't actually matter if he likes me. But she can't accept that.
   Oh, the life of a teenage girl. It makes no sense. Sometimes I don't even know what's going on, and I'm the one that's living here. :)

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Valentine's Day

   Valentine's Day. Or, as it will be known this year (but hopefully never again), Single's Awareness Day. It is somewhat disheartening to walk around the hallways with all the girls and their flowers and chocolate and teddy bears and be single. But, on the bright side, it motivates me to find someone for next year. :)
   Teachers usually hate Valentine's Day. At least, the teachers who teach us freshmen do. Apparently we are "hyped up on sugar and artificial love" (I'm quoting my math tacher here). This makes us unruly and difficult to teach.
   I miss the days when we went to school on Valentine's Day and ate pink frosted sugar cookies and got a whole bunch of princess and Transformers Valentine's that said "You're the best!" And you had to give everyone a Valentine. So no one ever felt bad.
   I remember one year, when this girl named Scarlet gave out Valentine's with Wonka candy on them (which, compared to Hershey kisses and candy hearts, was pretty cool). Sadly for me, Scarlet hated me, and she did not give me a Valentine. My ten-year-old self was distraught. I very nearly walked up to her and snatched my Valentine away from her (they were Harry Potter that year). But I restrained myself.
   The next year was one of the weirdest Valentine's Days I have ever had the pleasure (?) of experiencing. This guy (who shall remain unnamed for his sake) decided he liked me, and I decided I liked him. This was awkward because we were eleven. :) He gave me this adorable little stuffed giraffe (I'm not really sure where it has disappeared to since then) and this cute little card. The thing was, my friend's hated that guy, so at my birthday party that weekend, we shredded the card. I actually felt pretty awful about it.
   Oddly enough, he and I are like brother and sister now.

Monday, February 13, 2012

Sluts, Whores, and English Teachers

   Today in P.E., a this girl called my friend Bryanna a whore. This made me laugh out loud. I love that people throw the words "whore" and "slut" around as if they were as common as the word "girl". The dictionary definition of whore is "a woman who engages in promiscuous sexual intercourse, usually for money; prostitute; harlot". Essentially, a prostitute. The defenition of slut is "an immoral or dissolute woman; prostitute". Honestly, would you walk around calling people prostitutes? Uh, no. Seriously. How stupid is that? About as stupid as calling them a slut or a whore.
   I can honestly say I have never met a prostitute. But if you ask people if they've ever met a whore, they will say yes.
   Ugh. I sound like an English teacher. Just today we were talking about denotation vs. connotation in English. You know, like how frugal and miserly mean the same thing (that's denotation), but people think of frugal in a positive way and miserly in a negative way (that's connotation).
   Enough of that. I've had enough of school. I wish the weekend was here.

Saturday, February 11, 2012


   My dad took me out to Red Robin tonight for my birthday (which is actually on Tuesday). While I was ordering my California Chicken Burger, I looked across the restaurant to see several "little miss populars" in their skimpy winter formal dresses with their dates. Thsi cracked me up. Red Robin? For a formal dance? Could you be any less creative? Could you be any less boring? I mean, seriously! What weirdos.
   No one is classy these days. These girls I saw were wearing awfully skimpy dresses. One of them was strapless and so short and so tight that it looked like she had a sparkly silver towel wrapped around her. What a slut. Not classy at all. I don't typically dress that way, so I couldn't say for sure, but isn't it awfully uncomfortable to wear a dress like that?

Friday, February 10, 2012

The Epitomy of Irony

   It seems like life itself is the epitomy of irony. You know, like that song by Alanis Morissette. "It's like rain on your wedding day. It's a free ride when you've already paid." I don't really like that song. But she makes a really good point.
   One of the really ironic things about being a girl in high school is that guys you like send you texts that say "Hey did you catch what our English homework was?" and guys you don't like send you texts that say "Hey cutie, hope you sleep well tonight." Doesn' that just make you so mad?!
   Or how about those times when you work your butt off and are SO confident that you'll do well on your sience test, and you don't? And then you take a test that you're totally sure you failed and you get an A? How does that even happen?
   Another really ironic and yet seemingly common occurence happens in P.E. My teacher wears us out so bad during warm-ups that we can't actually participate in the rest of the class. It's like she wants to take our five out of ten participation points away.
   It's all quite ironic.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Today I'm Just Ticked Off

   You know what I hate most in the world? Being lied to. I would rather hear a harsh, awful, and painful truth than have someone lie to me.
   I'm not talking about "Oh, yeah, that dress looks great" even when it doesn't. I'm talking about the times when people tell you a really big lie to you to spare your feelings, and then when you find out it was a lie, your heart is broken and your trust in that person is shattered forever. Like, when you love somone, and they say "I love you too", but really, they don't. I'm talking about that kind of a lie.
   I also hate being ignored. I would rather that people yelled at me and screamed at me and threw huge crying fits thatn ignore me. I HATE being ignored. Especially when someone gives you the silent treatment because they are mad at you, but they won't tell you what it is you did wrong! How am I supposed to fix the gosh dang problem if I don't know what the problem even is? How can I apologize if I don't know what I did wrong?
   I had this friend named Hannah who used to do that to me. She would ignore me for days on end and when she finally told me why she was mad, I didn't even remember the thing that she said I did.
   Needless to say, we aren't really friends anymore. She eventually stopped talking to me for good.
   Recently I went through a fairly tough break-up. It was tough because it was so sudden. I loved him, and I thought he loved me, but the other day he just came out of nowhere and dumped me. For no reason at all. Well, I guess he kinda had some reasons. But they were lame, and I'm pretty sure he was lying about most of them.
   And you know what really ticks me off? When people ask how he and I are doing, he says, "Oh, I broke up with her," and then proceeds to talk about something else. People are like, "Why?" and he just shrugs. And he says it all like it's my fault. Like it was me who screwed up. He has no emotion about it at all. None whatsoever. I mean, we dated for a year and a half. You'd think he'd miss something about the relationship. Even if all he missed was like, kissing or something, that'd be okay. Because then at least he wouldn't be completely apethetic about the break-up.

Saturday, February 4, 2012

Nice People

   The two nicest girls I've ever known are named Rachel and Jessica. When I am feeling down, they always make me feel better. Rachel and I made cookies today. And talked. And sang "Popcorn Popping on the Apricot Tree." And talked.
   Jessica brought me cookies. :) And hugs.
   The world needs more nice people like this. How come no one is nice? Why do people just treat people like crap?
   I guess I'm guilty of this myself. You know, what with the whole "I'm gonna say whatever I want about everyone" deal that's going on here. But seriously. I'm not mean to people to their face. Never.
   Well, almost never. :)

Wednesday, February 1, 2012


   Some people have no empathy for anyone at all.
   Seriously! I think some people are just missing that chunk of their brain that tells you when to feel bad for people, when to let things go, and when to give someone a hug.
   Like today, for instance. Right before Spanish I very obviously needed a hug. (It was not a good day.) But the stupid people who call themselves my friends apparently could not see this.
   Granted, it was mostly boys that I was hanging out with. I don't know why, but it seems that boys are seriously lacking in social skills. This is a problem because I really, truly, like boys. But they drive me absolutely insane! I am driven completely crazy by the male of my species on a daily basis.
   Come to think of it, most of the problems in my life that are not school related are caused by boys. Boys. Boys. I hate them, but I can't get enough of them.
   I'm done with boys. For a while.
   Okay, let me revise that statement. I'm not done with boys in general. However, I am definitely done with them in any romantic way.
   But just for the time being. My gate only swings one way. :)

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

The Beginning

   People all over the place tell you not to judge other people. My sixth grade teacher had a famous saying: "Everyone has their own path, mine is not to judge another's." For a while I just blindly went along with this positivity and happiness.
   But it's human nature to judge and critique other people! The problem is, if you say it to their face, you end up with a bunch of people who don't like you. And so, as I was reading my horoscope this morning, I came up with the ultamite solution. A blog. A blog, where I can vent and scream about everyone and anyone. And no one would ever know who I was or who I was venting and screaming about. The whole world can see my endless rants (or, maybe, no one ever will), and I won't lose a single friend or a wink of sleep over it.
   I think this idea is fairly ingenious. Of course, I am a little biased.